Coming Undone
by FragilePuzzle
Summary: Light's inner struggle against the demon we know as Kira. Could the power of the Death Note completely change him? Oneshot.


**A/N: **This was something random I did to try writing Light, which I've never really done before. I wanted to show the contrast between what I believed to be innocent Light at the beginning of the series, who later turned into a hidden part of himself he called Kira. Lots of skippy-ness and probably crappy characterization. Inspired by the song of the same title, performed by KoRn.

* * *

**Coming Undone**

Only the soft scratching sound of a pen filled the room. Ink bled onto a neatly-lined sheet of white paper, the ball on the tip of the writing utensil rolling and flowing easily.

"This isn't what we wanted to do…" murmured a soft voice, watching as his hand was neatly guided across the paper by another's appendage. Honey-colored eyes flickered across the desk, landing on the TV that showed a rally - one which had gathered against Kira, trying to prove that he wasn't real or capable of killing them as they waved around signs with their names on them, gladly exposing their faces. "They're innocent. They're not criminals. They'll change their minds about Kira when the New World is created-"

A hand was pressed to his mouth, creamy, lightly-tanned fingers pushing to his pink lips. Perfectly-manicured nails dug into his jaw as the digits began to squeeze, effectively silencing him.

"They're only getting in the way. Nobody will disrespect us like this if we teach them a lesson. Now be a good boy and write down the names…"

Suddenly, the TV showed many people dropping to the ground, clutching to their chests - ripping at their shirts in agony as their faces contorted and saliva ran from the corners of their parted mouths. It was a pitiful sight. The way they flopped around reminded him of a fish out of water.

"See, Light? That wasn't so hard, was it?"

The small, portable television was then flicked off, exposing the reflection of the two men in it. One - the one who was sitting at the desk - was wearing a prim school uniform, his eyes the colour of a fresh, raw sap, leaking from a tree, skin creamy and hair a flawless golden-brown. The male behind him had darkened hair, about an inch or so longer, wild eyes, and a black suit with a few pens in the breast pocket. Though their faces held a different sort of expression, different pains, it was obvious that they were directly identical… down to the very last curve of the jaw and dip of the cheek.

"Light?" called a voice from downstairs, the pitch harsh yet motherly. "Come on downstairs, dinner's ready and your father's home!"

An ebony-encased arm reached down, grabbing the chin of the other male, tilting it up and looking at his face. He chuckled slightly, allowing his deep brown eyes to flicker as the other stood from his desk chair, tsk-tsk-tsking softly as he observed that the other's prim Oxford was slightly askew. Large hands moved to smooth it back into place, pushing away the uncalloused ones that attempted to do the same.

"We can't have you looking sloppy for dinner, Light. It would disgrace us."

Suddenly, the honey-haired teen was pulled into a deep kiss, an arm wrapping possessively around his lower back, his eyes fluttering a few times before he allowed his body to relax. He could trust him… they were one, after all.

"Now let's go…"

A hand in his own, Light was slowly dragged from the room - much to his surprise, he found he didn't have extort any effort to move his legs and walk… as though he was simply a puppet along for the ride.

* * *

The honey-haired teen blinked a few times, listlessly staring at the table in front of himself. A talkative blonde female and a well-mannered brunette of the same persuasion were both sitting on a small, light-yellow couch on the opposite side of the wooden desk-like structure between them, though he appeared to go unnoticed. He knew they couldn't see the male next to himself, still dressed in that same, black suit, crossing and uncrossing his legs occasionally – flicking a lock of his longer hair from his face with a cool smile.

"So, Light?" Misa asked, turning to look at the seats opposite the two. "What do you think of that?"

Blinking a few times, obviously caught off guard, Light merely gave a small smile and nodded his head. Kira smirked lightly, leaning forward and resting his chin in his hand, doing the same. The girls grinned and turned back to each other, lightly giggling in what the stiffer-stanced of the two could only consider an annoying fashion.

Suddenly, the teen felt a wave of nausea run through his stomach, causing him to clutch at his abdomen and stand, excusing himself and moving away from the table. His head spun and he hardly had time to catch himself on a nearby wall before he coughed, shoes scuffling across the slightly dirtied tile of the floor as he worked his way back to the bathroom. Unsure of what was causing the sickness, he began to consider all the things he'd eaten lately, pushing his lips together in a straight line and murmuring something inaudible to himself as he moved into the men's room without another word – though he was careful to nudge the door open with his hip, rather than touch the disgusting handle with his bare fingers.

"Are we feeling sick, Light?" the male trailing behind asked, lightly cracking his knuckles as he spoke. He walked up behind the smaller brunette, grabbing him and pulling him backwards, clutching him in a tight and possessive grip – lightly exhaling as he ran a hand up the other's neck. A man walked out of a stall and gave the teen a strange look before quickly exiting the small, tiled room without another word, not bothering to wash his hands, probably disturbed by the awkward position the tanned boy was contorted into… his hands being tugged away from his sides and clutched to, Kira's arms dragging up his stomach.

"Y-yes…" he choked, suddenly leaning over the sink and emptying the contents of his stomach into the marble basin, his eyes squeezing closed as he repeated the action, feeling the pair of appendages tightening and encouraging him to continue.

"I think it's time for us to go home, don't you, Light? We have more work to do."

Light couldn't respond, his orbs slipping open before they shut once again, shaking arms reaching out to grip at the edge of the counter – though they were stopped by Kira's hands, pulled back, feeling forced to allow his body to be supported by the darker-haired male.

"We don't have time to sit around, Light. This is pointless… we should be back at home. We have work to do, Light. Are you dedicated to our mission? You have to be the one to write the names down…"

Slowly, the brunette could feel himself being bent in half, intrusive hands sliding down to grip at the outside of his khaki slacks. The sensation caused his golden eyes to flicker, silky hair falling in front of his face as he allowed his neck to go limp, head falling and his gaze familiarizing itself with the soiled tiles of the floor.

"You're the only one I can touch. You're the only hope I have to survive. Don't you know that, Light? You're the only hope _we_ have to survive. I need you to help me. Help _us_."

The teen gave no reaction, merely twitching when dexterous fingers flicked open the button of his pants with ease, squirming as the zipper was undone. He looked up, eyes fixing on his reflection in the mirror – it was a pitiful sight. Skin several shades paler than usual broke out in a light sweat as the male behind him pushed one of his large hands into the folds of a crisp, white pair of briefs, body beginning to shiver when his mostly-limp member was stroked once… twice. The touch was a teasing one, meant to antagonize him, remind him of who was in power, the dustings of the fingertips driving him insane.

"What are you doing?" he murmured, unable to draw his line of sight from the reflection, Kira's grinning face burning itself into his mind, the softest of chuckles elegantly drawing itself past the brunette's lips as he used his free hand to grip onto the teen's chin.

"Don't play innocent, Light. You know exactly what I'm doing."

"Nh… stop…"

"You don't seem like you want me to stop."

By now, Light's member had perked, filling with blood – as were his cheeks – though it was simply a natural reaction, by no means fulfilled under his will. As the movements of the other's hand continued, the honey-haired male couldn't help but allow his body to move with the actions, lightly rocking his hips in encouragement, beginning to fully engage in the sinful act. Muscles rippled as fingers tightened, the only sounds in the empty restroom the rubbing of cloth against folds of more material, the tiny squelching of a hand becoming wet with precum and sliding along heated flesh, and the intermittent pleasured gasp or soft groan.

It was several minutes before the gratification became too much, and Light felt himself on the edge of release. However, it didn't appear as though Kira had the same idea – instead of allowing the other to relieve the tension in his abdomen and the burning in his groin, he merely pinched the head of the other's cock, forcing the tip shut and smirking as he heard a squeal of protest.

"You'll beg me if you want to release."

Light bit his lip, trying to gather some of his dignity, knowing that he shouldn't be this weak… that he shouldn't let somebody conquer him so completely, that he shouldn't give in and beg the other male for orgasm like his life depended on it. He also knew that he would.

"N-no…" he feebly tried, wriggling forward slightly, quickly being yanked back. The black-clad male's hand was now rubbing up and down, quickly, nails scraping along the heated flesh and the swollen vein that ran along the underside of the teen's throbbing length. His shaft was sticky with his own liquids, more of the clear substance beading on the head of his shaft, Kira's fingertip catching most of it and dragging it along the sides of the enlarged skin.

"You know you want to, Light. You can't deny it."

"I-I…"

"You can't lie to me… I know us. Now give in and beg. We need to get home and work, don't we?"

"Please… l-let me release…" he murmured softly, repeating himself as he was urged with a particularly rough tug. Suddenly, the other's digits released the unyielding grasp they'd had on his cock, Light's eyes widening as white fluids suddenly rushed forward and sporadically spurted from the head of the length, spattering across the marble counters and the floor, a handful of it having been caught in the darker-haired male's grip.

"How… unsanitary." The man's voice was merely a whisper in the teen's ear, not giving him a chance to protest as he pushed his limpening member back into the confines of his school uniform, pulling the metal teeth shut once again, lightly kissing the side of a velvety, bronzed throat and removing himself from the other's body as soon as he'd slipped the final fastening back into place. However, as he was turned around and pushed back against the cum-stained counter, Light knew that the other had another idea in mind. He could feel as Kira's free hand gripped his jaw, running down to his chin and pinching it between his fingers, urging the other's mouth open.

"Unclench your jaw," he demanded, smirking softly in approval as Light complied. Suddenly, the semen-coated fingers were pushed into his mouth – three of them – forcing his lips open and causing the teen to wince as the as the digits were forced further back. His gag reflex acted up as a fourth was added, Kira now sliding them in and out of his wet orifice, forcing his juices against his tongue. While the taste was unpleasant, it wasn't terrible, merely hot and brackish… tasting oddly of the sweat on the other's fingers.

After the black-clad male was satisfied with the teen's sucking, he yanked the digits past his pearly white teeth and grinned, moving over to the towel dispenser and grabbing a brown sheet of paper, wiping his fingers off. He drew a few from the machine and handed them to the honey-haired adolescent, gesturing for him to clean up his release, which he quickly did – rising his hands a moment afterwards, an obviously-ashamed expression clouding his eyes.

"Let's go home. Tell Sayu and Misa that you have work to do."

All Light could do was nod in soft compliance, receiving a tender kiss and a harsh bite to his lower lip in return for his actions.

* * *

A loud, persistent beeping suddenly filled the room, echoing off the tile floors and bouncing from the walls. Light looked over to note the expression on the detective's face, though it was one of monotony. Both sets of brown-shaded eyes flickered to the computer screen in front of the raven-haired male, seeing that it read "ALL DATA DELETED." Simply those three words in a bolded black font, set against a bright white background.

"Data deleted? What's going on?" Light asked, feigning innocence in his voice – however, he only spoke when the words were whispered softly into his ear by the black-clad male, a spidery hand tracing its way down his chest.

"I told Watari that if something ever happened to him, he should erase all the data he can. And to set up his system to erase automatically after a certain amount of time," L spoke, his voice droning, not a trace of emotion in his seemingly-scripted words.

"Where's the Shinigami?" the teen's father questioned, turning his head quickly to look at Aizawa though he received no response.

"Everyone, the Shiniga…"

L was unable to finish his sentence before his hand began to shake, eyes widening and focusing on the spoon that was delicately clutched between his forefinger and thumb. Onyx orbs hardly had time to process what was happening before he jerked and dropped the spoon – everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that, though all Kira did was begin to chuckle, Light watching with widened eyes while the detective fell from his crouched position onto his side. The wheeled chair he'd been sitting in quickly crashed down after him, though before the lanky man's thin frame could smack dully against the floor, the teen dove forward onto his knees and caught him around the shoulders… effectively protecting his head from any damage.

"Ryuzaki?"

"Light… Yagami…"

With that, the man's eyes slipped closed, leaving only the deep, darkened bags beneath them as evidence that he'd only recently been awake. His skin was already cooling, a paler colour than was normal overcoming the tone of his flesh, lips quickly beginning to purple as the blood in his body instinctively tried to resuscitate his brain.

Light wasn't aware of what happened those next few minutes. The last thing he remembered was Kira leaning over his shoulder, gently kissing his cheek, those same, domineering hands seeming to reacquaint themselves with his chest, a proud smile on his face.

"Good job, Light. We've done well. Now, let's go get the notebook."

The teen dropped the limp body from his arms before standing, yelling the words that were jeered into the soft shell of his ear, eyes wide with a hollow fear. His hands shook as he ran back into the room where he knew the sand-like ashes of the female Shinigami resided, the black notebook probably covered in the white dust, its delicately-designed front dirtied with the evidence of betrayal and murder.

Light moved into the room without a word, keeping a hold on the doorhandle and silently staring at the scene he'd perfectly pictured in the back of his mind. Kira pushed him forward, continuing to whisper venomously into his ear as he moved to pick up the Death Note, delicately lifting the other's shirt and placing it beneath the waistband of the teen's dress khakis.

"This is wrong," he murmured, staring down at the pile of all that was left of the death god. "Rem didn't do anything to do this. L didn't do anything to deserve this… it's wrong. This isn't what the New World is… going to be about. They would have changed their minds when they realized a world without criminals would have been for the best."

"They would have found out, Light. It's for the better. Now be a good boy and keep your mouth closed, do you understand?" The other male smirked softly as he turned Light around to face him, staring into his ocher eyes and softly sighing. Leaning forward, the same cocky expression on his face, the brunette pushed their lips together in an overbearing manner, tilting his head and working their petal-pink flesh against each other.

* * *

It was a few days later when Light walked into the bedroom of his parents, his eyes slightly wide, the normal amber shade of the orbs hardly visible due to his wildly contracted pupils. He couldn't stand it anymore. The guilt had wracked every iota of his frame until he lie awake at night and shook, doing nothing but stare blankly at the ceiling. What Kira wanted was not on a level of what he could handle, not anymore – they used to think the same… they wanted to eradicate crime from the world, to make everything better. Now Kira simply wanted to rule over this "crime-free" world… free of those who even thought of opposed him. It was no longer a paradise, or a utopia, but a dictatorship ruled by fear.

"Dad?" he exclaimed, noting that the middle-aged man was sitting on the edge of the mattress, folding his tie into a knot in preparation for his job, working even harder to catch Kira now that L was gone – to catch a part of him, half of himself, that half he could never let out… though it was already the half that had overcome him. He'd killed the innocent, he'd disposed of L. Repeatedly, it'd been beaten into his brain that he had to do it, that L wasn't innocent, that L was trying to stop him and ruin his plan, his mission to eliminate crime from the world. That he would have been caught if he hadn't taken the detective's life. It was all for the best, of course, that was what he had to remember.

"… dad?" Light received no response either time, so all he did was frown and take a few steps forward, reaching out to touch the shoulder of his father. "Dad? D-dad, seriously, I have something to tell you…"

The man didn't so much as look up, merely grunting as he leaned over to grab his shoes, kicking one leg up onto the other and slipping the patent leather work-wear onto his feet – clumsily tying the laces though there was a slight bit of practiced precision in his movements.

"Dad!" the male tried again, waving a hand in front of his father's face. "Dad! Dad? Dad, I… I'm Kira! I can't do this anymore! Dad? Dad, why won't you listen to me?"

Light slowly began to panic, dropping to his knees in front of the man, reaching out to roughly slap his unshaven cheek. However, even after he did so, he still received no response.

That was when the honey-eyed teen heard the sound of the bedroom door click open once again, the black-suited male walking into the room with a spark in his dark orbs, a light skip in his step, hands neatly tucked into the pockets of his pants.

"Dad… are you heading out now?" Kira asked quietly, quickly allowing his face to slip into a forlorn expression, moving over to the bed to stand in front of the male – not sparing a glance at the teen on his knees, a look of desperation in his eyes.

"What did you do? Why won't he listen to me?"

"Yes, I'm going to go help Matsuda with some of the cleanup at headquarters," the man grunted, pushing himself from the bed and adjusting his glasses before nodding once at his son. "Do you need a ride?"

"Dad? Dad… dad, I'm right here! Dad! That's not me!"

"Sure, I'll go with you." Kira nodded, tucking a lock of his hair behind his ear before he watched the grey-haired man move from the bedroom, muttering something about leaving as soon as he got some toast. That was when the standing male chuckled softly, staring down at the teen at the floor, a sadistic expression on his face. All Light could do was try and stand, feeling his legs shake, his mouth dry and his breath uneven – it felt as though his chest was hollow, empty, body almost weightless… that must have been it. This had to be a dream.

"Can you feel that hole in your chest, Light? Doesn't it feel like you're a ghost? Like… you're empty?"

"Wh… what did you do to me?"

"I didn't do anything, Light. I simply decided that it was time for me to take over. You were going… abit soft there, don't you think? You could hardly kill L. Did you hold some sort of affection for him?"

"I don't know… I…"

"I think we deserve better, don't you? Which is why this is my body now. Nobody can see you, Light. You're the figment of imagination now. How does it feel to know that you're only the shadow of another?"

"N-no! You can't do this! You can't do this!" Light stared up at the other as he spoke, his hands shaking, innocent orbs wild. His beige jacket suddenly felt a size too small, suffocating him, causing a cold sweat to break out over his perfectly-toned figure. "You said we'd work together!"

"I thought we could, Light. But it appears as though you weren't doing what needed to be done. So unfortunately, I'm going to have to leave now. Wouldn't want to be late for work." A grin like that of a mischievous fox overcame the other's face as he pushed his hands back into pockets before leaning down, slipping one from the holster and bringing it to the teen's chin – tilting it up and pushing a tender kiss to his smooth lips.

"It's m-my body… it's my mind… it's _my_ New World… you're going too far…!"

"You weren't going far enough, Light. We could have ruled the world. Now _I _will."

"You can't use it for evil…"

"Goodbye, Light."

Kira stood, lightly wiping his lips on the back of his hand, tucking both palms back into his pants pouches and turning from the empty room – the only sound echoing through the small space being the incessant clicking of the soles on his leather dress shoes against the hardwood floor. Chocolate-shaded eyes glinted as he flicked off the light, throwing the area into darkness, the soft snap of a door shutting into place resounding before silence struck the air.

* * *

That bastard. It was Near's fault.

"Misa!" Kira cried out hoarsely, his voice cracking, bloodied hand waving about before falling limp again - splattering red-tainted water a few inches in each direction. The foul smell radiating from the dank liquid, resting on the floor of the Yellow Box warehouse, was nothing to be taken lightly… especially when it was working its way into your veins through several bullet wounds in your body. "Misa, where are you?" _Stupid useless bitch… she's never there when I need her…_

A honey-haired teen stood above the puddle, his eyes hollow as they stared down at the male dressed in a plain, black, bloodstained suit. So this is what it came down to. It was… pathetic.

"I thought I was the pathetic one," Light murmured, puddle water spattering up onto him as his counterpart began to flail again. "At least I'm not the one dying of bullet wounds on the floor of a warehouse. Even the Shinigami can't help but laugh at your unfortunate fate, Kira. Is this the New World? Is this what you wanted?"

"Shut up!" cried Kira, thrashing his head about as his fingers curled desperately - trying to grab onto something, anything. Near merely twirled his hair, blinking a few times, grey orbs slowly scanning the flailing body of the man that called himself Kira. If this is what had defeated L, he could easily say that it was one of the more heart-wrenching thing's he'd witnessed… but only because something this low, this disgraceful, had been the one to bring down the man that had helped build the foundation on which he lived.

"It wasn't even L that caught you. It was Near. Some half-rate successor. Some little albino and a flamboyantly gay mafia boss. They brought you down with no problems."

"No problems? I killed him!" he laughed, the sound dry and forced, causing more blood to leak from the many holes in his chest, hand reaching out to grip at the other's pantleg - though Light pulled back before he could dirty the beige material. However, instead of continuing to pursue the younger teen, Kira instead turned to Near. The petite adult was staring down at the cement, his eyes hidden though his stance was visibly tenser than usual. A few ashen strands were wound around a pale finger, ripped from an even whiter scalp.

"Shinigami?" Near asked in that same soft, monotone voice Kira had been forced to listen to - it was almost identical to L's, spare the fact that it was about twice as feminine. "Ryuk… are you writing down his name?"

At this mention, everybody in the large, empty room turned to look at the spiky-haired Death God, who held a black notebook in his hands and an oversized, odd-looking pen in his hand. Looking up as he was addressed, Ryuk chuckled a few times.

"Hyuk hyuk… I think I'm bored, Light. You promised me entertainment, but if I stay here, I might have to wait twenty, even thirty years until you die in jail. I don't want to do that."

Kira's eyes widened as he forced himself up from his position on the floor, flopping onto his stomach and beginning to worm his way over to Ryuk - dragging himself across the cement, smearing red liquids in his path, eyes beginning to water as he stared up at the other.

"You can't kill me… I'll entertain you! I promise! I'll make it worthwhile! I don't want to die! I… I don't deserve this! I was going to be the God! God of the New World! God!"

"Please make it painful." That was all Near could bother to say, his tiny hand clenching around the ugly finger puppet with the large scar and blonde bob cut, sinister smirk adorning his face. His other hand moved to fish out a necklace from beneath the folds of his large, white pajama shirt, pulling out the rosary of his rival and fiddling with its burnt cross. The Shinigami only laughed.

"Goodnight, Kira," whispered the teen, his eyes widening slightly as the other half of him let out the softest resonance - like a record player winding to a halt - and his hands fell to his sides. There was a dull flop as he hit the hard surface of the floor, falling absolutely still. There was a moment when Light's eyesight began to flash, and the room was suddenly black… he and Kira were its only occupants. Suddenly, it was filled with the ghosts of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands. Kira screamed and tried to scrabble away from their unmoving frames, but Light held his ground with no fear on his face. Then they were gone, replaced with only three figures.

"L," Light murmured, his feet seeming to be much too heavy to move now, as he half-heartedly reached for the raven-haired detective. He was merely given one of those crooked, half-smiles before the man turned his back, beginning to walk away. An old butler and a lanky leather-clad adult followed in his footsteps, though no sounds emitted as they walked into the darkness. Light eagerly tried to follow, though soon, black haze began to cover his vision, lick at his hands and face. He watched as Kira immediately took off after the three odd males, dashing completely into the blackness.

The teen finally allowed those innocent, golden eyes to fall shut, arms going limp and his legs carrying him in the direction of his counterpart's screams - that was when he saw it. There was a void in the ground, though it didn't scare him - he simply leaned forward and plummeted.

"_If you use this notebook, you won't be able to go to Heaven or Hell, you know," Ryuk explained, laughing as though he knew something the teen didn't - however, as Light looked up at the monster, all he did was smile knowingly as well._

"_That's because there is no Heaven or Hell."_

"… _very good," he grinned, exposing his large, pointy teeth. _

Light had come to terms with it. He merely lie ascended in the deep darkness of MU, both body and mind unfading, and all he had for his company was the screams of his counterpart.

"I don't deserve this! I was going to go to Heaven! I made the world a better place!"

Though after years of endless noise, Kira finally fell silent, realizing that his pleas were falling on deaf ears.

"Goodnight, Light."

On the floor of the warehouse, a pale figure stood above a still body, thin, spidery fingers reaching down to slip open lids closed. Near slowly stood back up from his awkward crouch, bringing the charred beads to his lips and continuing to clutch to them. However, as he went to turn away and follow at the gesture of Rester - something caught his eye. The body had moved once again. Kira's lips had parted in what looked like a scream before it faded to a sigh - and then it was gone. It could have been just a trick of the light, no pun intended, but as he shook his head he decided that all he could do was ignore it.

Bare feet shuffled across dirtied floor, two pairs of footsteps following though they made no noise. Blonde locks brushed bare shoulders with each step, a slouched figure chewing on an uneven thumbnail.

"Thank you," they murmured, Near pausing as he heard a soft voice in each ear - familiar voices. However, as he stepped outside, the voices and the presences disappeared, leaving him to be helped back into the car by Gevanni - two finger puppets still resting on his index and middle finger. Bulged eyes and a patterned vest were thrown into darkness as the door of the limousine was closed, and then - if even for just that moment - the world was thrown into a mourning silence.

_Finis._

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**End Note: **Yep. Pretty dang random. I know. -shrug- It was relatively fun to write. I hope you enjoyed it.

~FragilePuzzle


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